I woke up in the middle of the night and heard a very odd sucking noise in the bathroom. Bleary-eyed, I stumbled in there and saw something purple and squishy slurping up out of the drain. I don’t know how he got there or where he came from, but soon my giant bathtub was filled with purple madness. He sat there, blinking innocently at me.
I backed slowly into the hall, giving him space. He seemed harmless enough, and only a little bit lost and confused. Even in my bleary-eyed state I could see that he seemed tired.
I invited him downstairs and offered him sustenance. It seems he was more in need of a comfortable, safe place to rest and refresh his obviously gigantic and under stimulated brain.
I could see his eyes light up with wonder and fascination as he paged his way quickly through Bilbo’s Unexpected Journey. His large cranial cavity began to pulse excitedly as his tentacles flipped the pages with rapid excitement.
He slurped into the office and began researching, muttering quietly to himself as he gathered his thoughts. I tried to peek over his shoulder but, since he lacks shoulders, I couldn’t catch a glimpse of his focus, though I thought I spotted him plotting a course on Google Maps to a dark, watery garden.
Determined, he slurped into the garage and tried desperately to make a break for freedom. He was thwarted only by his inability to find the button for the garage door. I did not offer my assistance.
Distracted for a moment, I turned away. When I looked back, the giant squid had appropriated a more suitable mode of transport. The last I saw of him, he was pedaling quickly and expertly down the street, heading into an unknown adventure.
Giant Squid Pillow How-To
